How To Deal With Cranks 101 - Attempt 2

Today Senn is looking at ways to deal with cranks. How is he doing this? Well, you'll find out in his second attempt and see if it's going better this time...

2019-05-30 00:20:00 - From : Alois Midford

Hello beautiful people. It’s Senn again! Did you miss me in the past weeks? I can totally understand. But I was way too busy with a girl. I take her to the snack bar for our first date. Isn’t that romantic?! Yes, I thought so! So that’s why I wasn’t busy with dealing with cranks. But it brought me an awesome idea! The girl I like told me she prefers cheese souflés. So this one is about… cheese! Because I didn’t get any crazy ideas of you yet, another one of my own crazy ideas.

Can a piece of cheese kill a crank?!

I’ve read Ocean’s Daily last week and even Ocean told us cheese is the answer to everything. So it must be the answer against cranks as well! So I went to Chester’s Cheesecakes to buy all the cheese they sell. I need a lot of it, just to make sure. And I already had a plan to kill the crank with cheese. I came with the following:
1: Catch some mouses with cheese and scare the crank away;
2: Scare the crank away with the smell of old, smelly cheese;
3: Eat all the cheese you can and start running away. The cheese will give you a turbo.

Catch some mouses with cheese and scare the crank away

Just like last week, I wanted to try my ideas out at some cranks. But Alois still didn’t agree with me. Such a shame, because I’m sure it would be much better research then! So I went to the Training Grounds again. I had to practice on those dummies once more.

The first suggestion was catch some mouses with cheese and scare the crank away. I thought, I would only need one piece of cheese for this one. So made a mousetrap myself, not to hurt that poor animal, but just to catch it. I sat down a few feet away. But unfortunately, it took a long, long time to catch a mouse. So I started eating from the other cheese I’ve bought.

After like, 25 minutes, I heard the trap falling. I jumped up to check on the mouse. But… it wasn’t a mouse I’ve caught. It was a bird kind of thingy…. I released the animal, cause I didn’t need him. I wanted a mouses! This is failing so badly…

I grabbed my ego together for just a few minutes. I sat down on the bench again and started waiting. But without any luck. I didn’t catch a mouse at all. And time was running fast, so at this time, a crank would have killed me already. I had to abort this mission...

Conclusion: You better eat the cheese instead of waiting for a mouse to eat it. You’ll be dead before you even can say the word ‘mouse’. It doesn’t work. Not at all.

Scare the crank away with the smell of old, smelly cheese

When I bought a lot of cheese, I found an old, smelly one as well. I got sick of the smell, so a crank would be too! That’s what I thought. I put a clothespin on my nose when I removed the cheese from its packaging. I can tell you, it won’t work. You will still be able to smell the cheese and you won’t be happy about it! I didn’t have anything planned for this one, so I thought I should throw it to the dummy. Not to hit the thing, but to scare it away. So I did.

While I threw the old, smelly cheese to the dummy, I accidentally hit the clothespin on my nose. It hurts like hell! And for a moment, I saw blood everywhere. I don’t like blood. Not at all. So before I even knew what was happening, I fainted...

Conclusion: NEVER, never try this yourself! Unless you like to faint before you will be eaten by a crank! Don’t buy smelly old cheese. Leave it in the store and just start running. It’s for the best!

Eat all the cheese you can and start running away. The cheese will give you a turbo.

I really, really looked forward to do this. The only thing I had to do, was eat the five kilos of cheese I’ve bought. So I started eating. And eating and eating. For sure, Sophia would be proud of me eating this amount of cheese. The first few pieces were easy to eat. But the more I put in my belly, the more I didn’t like it. I felt really, really sick for a moment and… Luckily nobody has seen it, I started throwing up… True story. Sad story.
Conclusion: So, I don’t think this is the best way to get rid of a crank. I think you would be sick. Really really sick. And throwing up all those cheese wouldn’t make you feel better. Not at all. Good luck with that!

Well, my beloved ones, I must admit, a can of soda won’t help you out when you want to deal with a crank. So, I will try another thing in two weeks! Do you have any crazy ideas? Please let me know! I’m looking forward to try your awesome ideas.

Written by Senn Covasz